Is this misuse of funds?

Me and my ex wife adopted 4 children, she is recieving child support and all the adotption istance as she is the custodial parent. She does not work although she considers PTA work and wanted to file taxes on it (could not). Just stating that fact as to how money greedy she is. Anyways all my children are special needs ergo adoption istance. My 9 year son is the most extreme as he is ually aggressive in school and at home. He has molested 2 of his siblings in my homeas we can not keep eye contact 24/7 and hers as she has told me also. It is docemented in school of him attacking girls and so forth. Now correct me if I am wrong that adoption istance is to be used to take care of these problems as in Psychiatric help. Instead she make the excuse that she is has to interview doctors and pick one based on if she likes them not the children, and that when she finds one she has to wait for medical approval and for them to send a confirmation and that she is now on a waiting list for doctors in the ENTIRE BAY AREA. This is 5 months now and she also has Kaiser for them and not using it as a temporary. She tells me if I am so worried do it myself. I told her that it is her responsibility as she gets paid to do that. I am not neglecting my dutuies as a parent she has just made sure I do not have any money to even support myself and I have the children 25% of the time. I bring home $1300 a month am newly married and have another child. My ex has an income of $5600 a month and does not work. I do not think I am wrong for her needing to do this am I? I am on a verge of heart attack here from stress she causes in my life thinking she has control over everything and calling me bad names on a constant bases. If I do not do as she tells me I get threats of her moving away or her taking away visitation. What can I do? She can afford to go and buy a new cell phone every other month, spend thousands of dollars on Christmas and spend $1000 a month on gas and pay my oldest daughters rent and a 1200 a month loan to her parents but can not pay for a therapist till approval. Copay is $20 through Kaiser. What can I do??????